Fuente de todo lo que es bueno y Madre de todos nosotros.

I've been playing video games for the better part of 28 years now. I'm 30. If you do the math, you'll realize I've been in this thing since before I could read or even speak properly. Hell, I hadn't even dropped the whole "pacifier sucking" thing and I was already into 'dem vidyajames.

Now, while that does not make me an expert or anything like that, you and I can agree that I've played my fair share of games, I've experience. Right?

Well of all those games I've gone through, if you were to ask my opinion on what is the best, most awesome video game I have ever played in nearly thirty years, I would, without a doubt or hesitation say: Okami.



No ifs, buts, or maybes.

Okami. Full stop.

Yes, it even beats any and all Dragon Quests, and bear in mind I'm a pretty huge DQ dork, so this is kind of a big deal.

To me, at least, Okami is the "Watchmen" of its medium; a defining work and an example to follow, the standard of quality that all video games should measure up to, an example of what a video game can be if its potential is fully realized.

And of course, a work of art.

Yes, I'm one of those "gaems c'n be art, hurr durr" faggots.

No, not all video games are art, and yes, I agree with Roger Ebert on a lot of the points he made on how video games are not an art form, but I also think Okami is in fact a pretty good counter argument to a lot of the points Mr. Ebert touches on, and again, to me this is a pretty big deal, I'm a rather big fan of Roger Ebert. In my universe, his word is law and going against his word is unnatural and wrong, and yet here we are, that's how impressed and awed I am at how brilliant and amazing Okami is.

Or, to plagiarize a quote from Yahtzee and mutate it for my own retarded purposes: If I were Batman, Okami would be my murdered parents.

It's an extremely well put together bit of entertainment software: It has beautiful graphics, fantastic music, it's incredibly fun to play, its controls are precise, innovative and intuitive, its protagonist is likable and charismatic (the fact that the protagonist of the story isn't even human and yet has more charisma than many human protagonists, further illustrates my point of just how fucking awesome Okami is), its story may be a bit simplistic, yet it goes to the point, instead of faffing about in a myriad of idiotic tangents (Insert an overly easy to make jab at modern Final Fantasy here.), and its world building is unparalleled.

The fucked up bit?

It sold like shit. Go ahead and look it up on Wikipedia, it says so right there: "Commercial failure". That means it didn't sell well. At all.

Now then, to shamelessly steal even more content from Yahtzee, let's all participate in a little social experiment, shall we?

First off, go get a pen or pencil, right this moment and insert it between your second and third fingers in either one of your hands. Now, with your other hand, proceed to squeeze your fingers towards the pen. You might want to apply a moderately hard amount of pressure there to achieve the desired effect.

Did that hurt?

I'm glad it did, as it's a fitting punishment for not having bought Okami you fucking twat.

Now, normally you'd think that a sequel to Okami would be nothing short of a blue-eyed miracle, I mean come on, "commercial failure" and all that. Clover Studio disbanded. The world in ruins.

Welp.



Whaddya know! There ARE such things as miracles! Pretty far fucking out, innit?

THIS is proof that goddess Amaterasu, mother to us all, loves you, me, and everyone else.

Now comes the passionate plea: Please buy this thing. I like video games. I kinda like this industry, it needs more Okami, more Psychonauts, more Ico and more Shadow of the Colossus and less Halo, less Madden, less Guitar Hero and less Call of Duty.

Yes, it's for DS, no it's not as good as its predecessor, but it's still a pretty damned decent adventure game and it looks fucking incredible for a DS game.

Got a Nintendo DS? Got a little extra income? Get this fucker, it's one of the best portable games to come out this year. I mean, come on, tell me you can say no to him:







Go on then. Say "no" to him, you cold-hearted fucker. Say it. Not even I could do it, and I don't even have feelings anymore. Say "no" to pore lil' Chibiterasu, I double dog dare you, motherfucker.

And hey, apropos of nothing, here's another blurry picture of me desk so I can show I'm better than you because I own two video games you probably do not:



So there you go. You've now had a glimpse at a bigger world and now know that there can be fine art in the world of video games, you now know that not everything is about mountains of muscles shooting retarded looking aliens, or spiky haired animu faggots talking about their feelings. Spread the knowledge amongst your friends, and yes, I fully endorse using physical violence to coerce said friends to buy Okami and Okami Den.

Well? Go on then! What're you waiting for? Get the fuck out and buy them! NAO!

Doomsday is coming!

La última vez que destruí un blog de mi propiedad fué hace casi cinco años. Lo destruí (o mas bien borré, pero a poco no se oye mas chingón "Lo destruí") por dos razones: Uno, porque era demasiado personal, escribía cosas mus cursis y muy pendejas y me dió vergüenza que estuviera ahi evidenciandome ante el internets entero. Y dos, porque había un zoreco que me tenía cierto grado de "admiración" y hacía delicious copypasta de todo lo que escribía sin darme crédito alguno.

Y que me harto, que me emputo y que lo borro, así sin decir ni madres.

Eso nos lleva a este muy particular (y pedorrísimo, no lo olvides) blog.

Cuando empecé esta madre (noviembre 2006) ni siquiera se llamaba "Weird Science" y la idea de su temática era muy distinta de el monstruo purulento en que se terminó convirtiendo. Yo quería escribir cosas alusivas a la cultura popular de cuando yo era joven, apenas tenía la idea de empezar mi negocio en ebay/mercado libre y yo creía que escribir acerca de lo que me empezaba a dedicar sería entretenido para los demás y una buena idea.

Gradualmente las cosas cambiaron y despues de un "mega desastre" emocional, los posts personales, llenos de "emo" empezaron a hacer su arribo y se quedaron, jamás los pude quitar de "mi sistema" exitosamente.

Cuando esta pendejada empezó, aqui tu servidor era otro: Tenía mas ganas de vivir, mi perspectiva de la vida era mas optimista (basta con decir que aún no sentía el odio visceral por la navidad que hoy siento), el alcohol (y otras sustancias que alteran la perspectiva) y yo estábamos peleados y habíamos suspendido nuestra tormentosa relación y seguía yo siendo irredimiblemente cursi.Blegh.

El hecho es que este "Weird Science" ya no me llena, ya no me gusta y ya no me emociona escribir en él, sospecho que todo esto empezó desde hace mucho tiempo, casi desde sus inicios, por lo cuál nunca hubo entradas de manera constante, ni estable.

"Weird Science" representa una parte de mi a la que me aferré obstinadamente y que ya está mas muerta que Michael Jackson. El tipo que lo empezó era un irresponsable y un pendejo y hasta cierto punto me cae gordo, por no mencionar que mis posts mas antiguos dan pena de lo mal escritos que están.

No se bien porque me aferré tanto tiempo a lo que representa este pinche blog, tal vez en algún momento he llegado a pensr que algún día mi situación de vida llegaría a estar como cuando lo inicié (duuuurrrrrr, herp derp), pero el hecho es que la vida sigue y aferrarme tanto a esto, como a la cuenta de google a la que está asociado es hasta cierto punto enfermizo y no debería de ser.

Como ejercicio literario, ésta cosa es bastante estéril e inútil, ya no me sirve para nada y si, eso indica que ya se le acerca su hora de decir "kthnxbai", no hoy, este no es el último post ni nada por el estilo, voy a purgar todas las pendejadas emocionales que me queden dentro los próximos nueve meses y a fin de año mas o menos, lo declararé terminado. No lo voy a borrar, aqui se va a quedar para la "posteridad" (y para que muy de vez en cuando me sirva de "basurero emocional"), y tengo pensado empezar otro blog, mas enfocado a las cosas de las que me gusta escribir y con cero "a bloo, bloo, bloo".

Pongo todo esto, no por otra cosa mas que porque aún hay una o dos personas que leen mis idioteces y creo que por decencia, agradecimiento y respeto, merecen que se les avise que este desmadre se acaba y si les interesa, pues les paso la liga del blog nuevo, si no pus no y ya.

Pásele porque se acaba. :D